To Quote ... Love. An Epidemic.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

~ Neil Gaiman

“What makes life worth living is knowing that one day you'll wake up and find the person that makes you happier than anything in the whole world. So don't ever lose hope and give up, everything turns out okay and the good guy always wins.”

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.”

~ Dr Joyce Brothers

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

To Quote ... Love. An Epidemic.

Crossroads - The Road (Might) Not Taken

Life is a mystery waiting to be unravelled. A story full of never ending tales, intimidating as it is the unknown, the unpredictable.

Life has strewn about so many choices and options. So many open doors and some closed forever. But you never know if one of the doors will lead you to right where you need to be .. or where you want to be.

Has it ever occurred to anyone that whatever life throws at us, it might be for our own good? But what if the choices we made were bad? Where is this silver lining I keep hearing people say? Why is it that everytime I think I got away, they pull me back in?

Life's questions unanswered. 

Maybe I like it better that way.

There's a bright path right in front of me, unobstructed by any means, and yet I feel that the path is still unclear. I have yet created more crossroads, more paths that intertwine with the path that I tread on. I have complicated things yet again with this tainted heart and emotional rollercoaster that is me.

I have already determined using my head, and now my heart is questioning my every move. I thought that I have learnt to tame my heart to not overpower my judgement and yet it does so anyway.

And so the question forms in my mind yet again.

Which road shall I take?

Which path shall lead me to happiness?

Should I or should I not?

Crossroads - The Road (Might) Not Taken

From Manila With Love

It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since I last left my dearest homeland for a 4 hour flight distant land .. a land of a thousand islands, but my destination was only to one specific island from the lot.

I have been to a few memorable faces, and have now increased and have now expanded my portfolio of acquaintances and friends to Phillipino folks over here throughout the duration I've been staying here and I intend to expand it even more.

Is this to say I have no friends back home? Heck no. I have friends. They irk me. They stress me out. But hey ... that's what friends do. But all in all, they make me laugh, they make me smile, they comfort me when I'm down. Ultimately, when I need them, they are there.

Anyway, what has Manila done for me?

The main purpose (for me) to head on to Manila is for experience purposes. It's not so much of sightseeing considering that I've been sent here for 7 weeks (which then 3 more weeks were added on to my stay), so there'll be plenty of that for sure. But, it's more of a what Nigel Lythgow always seem to tell the contestants in 'So You Think You Can Dance', that he wants to see them grow.

The question is ... have I grown? Its hard to say. I am, after all, a slow learner. LOL

I'd like to think that I have as I have, to some degree, been able to control some of my facial expressions and attitude as to now reflect the negativity although my heart and my emotions are full of bull at the time, but for the sake of training purposes, I have been able to let the emotions slide by, if only for a while. I believe, that n itself, is an achievement for me.

However, I have still not allowed my heart to grow as much as I needed it to grow. I am still a hopeless romantic and head over heels over every guy that catches my eye. Darn it!

Manila guys, I'm afraid to say as to not sound betrayal towards my nation, are so damn HOT!!!! -ter than those back home. LOL

Maybe it's being the fact that they're a mixed bunch of people ... Spanish blood, Phillipino blood (for sure), and all sorts of blood ... I mean ... look at D-Trix for instance ... hello ... cutie pie!

So of course ... I'm spoilt for choice ;D not that I have a chance in hell though. But, well, it's refreshing for the eyes ... I wake up and see hot guys, before I go to bed I see hot guys ... it's a win-win situation for me. I don't have to get to know them. Seeing them is more than enough. Seeing a smile on their face is like WOW ... I've yet to see this one guy smile yet. I've still got 6 weeks to go. By hook or by crook, I'm gonna get him to smile.

Just a thing though ... I'm too .. how to say, hard at smiling myself? Well, it's more due to the fact that it's difficult for me to show courtesy to guys I like because I don't want them to know I like them? It's like back in junior school .... you like someone, and you bully them ... Dang! I have not grown up it seems.

Well ... on another note, I'm cooking more now (out of desperation) so ... kudos to my future husband. He's gonna get one heck of a wife ... you lucky man!!!!!

;D

From Manila With Love