New Year - New Me

And so the new year has come forth upon us ... 2010 has finally arrived and a new year means new resolutions to make and to attempt to keep the new year's resolutions.

 

I am one of the millions of individuals who for every single new year makes and breaks their resolutions. I have never been able to keep any ... woe is me.

 

This year, will be different (which I say every year as well) but hopefully this year will be a winner *fingers crossed*

 

2010 is the year of changes. I am now 24 years of age, I have too many debts to my name (not appropriate for a single 24 year old) and thus I have to limit (and by limit I mean limit) my spending spree. Each month of 2010, I can only shop a maximum number of 3 items (depending on their price range).

1. Clothes - each clothing item can be no more than RM100 (if >RM150 then the maximum items that I will allow myslef to spend each month is 2)
2. Shoes - lets make it every 6 months to a year, I will only allow myself to shop 2 pair of heels online, for which each pair will cost no more than USD 40.
3. Health & Beauty - in this department, consists of fragrances, SK-II stuff, makeup and the likes. SK-II will only be bought Semi Annually, depending on necessity. Fragrances, if it costs more than RM300, then it will either be Semi Annually or Annually thing. Less than RM200, will depend on how much I've already spent for the said month. Makeup will depend on whether my compact powder, eyeliner and mascara is still usable. If its still there, there's no need to buy anything else.

So all in all, I will only allocate RM 400 for shopping for each month. Do you suppose that will suffice? I hope so.

Lets take a look at my monthly budget for 2010:

Everyday expenditure - Food --> RM 5 per day
Everyday expenditure - Transportation --> RM 3 per day (RM 10 if I have to take public transport)
Monthly flight fare --> RM 200 (plus ERL fare)
Monthly balik kampung expenditure --> RM 300
Shopping allocation --> RM 400
Debt --> RM 800

It's a tight one. Almost not enough for savings and just-in-case, but I think this can be it.
Lets hope for the best.

Other resolutions that I have, to slim down a bit ... my tummy is bulging that I can't fit into some of my clothes and I don't want to do a wardrobe overhaul, so I best take care of my weight.

And that includes less of fast food joint - which is both good for my wallet and my diet.

I will strive to do everything in my power to improve myself career-wise and character-wise, vital for my career development. A bright future in my career equals to a bright future for my wallet.

Hopefully this year, Lady Luck will be with me. Lucky in career and lucky in love. I believe this year is the year for me to seek The One. I'm already 24, and I've never been on a single date in my life. And I feel that destiny is calling and wedding bells are ringing in my ears. 'Tis the year that I feel that I ought to find someone that will love me unconditionally and for all time.

To the new year - 2010. A new year, a new beginning, a new me.

Cheers

New Year - New Me

Echo

Echo  is the second album by Leona Lewis, the Bleeding Love singer. I've read reviews for this album and some of the reviews are far from flattery, but then again ... that's their opinion. In my point of view, I rather like it.

In comparison to Leona's debut album, Spirit, perhaps it's not the best produced ... but hey ... the girl is only starting. You can't expect miracles from a newbie. You've got to give Leona a chance to really explore her music, experience what is right and what is wrong.

It is a bit harsh for some to review her second album in a too negative perspective considering that majority of the songs are 'music to the ears' and does showcase her vocals terrifically.

One or two reviews mentioned the producers were relying too heavily on her vocals ... hello!! Leona has got mega amazing vocals ... Is it wrong to choose songs that highlights her vocal talents? That is  the whole point of singing, right? If you have mediocre (not strong or amazing or outstanding) you have to rely heavily on backups and instruments and technology ... like Britney does.

Leona need not all the macinery in the world for she has pure talent and her talent has brought her to where she is right now. The songs justify the true vocal prowess she has and you couldn't ask for more ... Not yet anyway.

Let her learn, explore producers and songwriters to the fullest before you fully judge her. She's only been in the music scene for less than 2 years ...

Anyhoo, Echo's  first single, Happy, is a good enough single to introduce Leona's second album. but my preference from the whole of her album are two wonderfully crafted music, I Got U and a collaboration with OneRepublic, Lost Then Found.

Echo

Notes on Fragrance

The first time I set foot in LCCT (Low Cost Carrier Terminal) for my AirAsia flight to Sultan Ismail Airport, I was quite surprised and kind of taken aback at the hustle and bustle and seemingly disorganised situation at the terminal. I am used to hustle and bustle at KLIA, but this was ... a bit different. But I put it aside due to perhaps because of my prejudice towards AirAsia.

And so I walked through the front door ... I think it was the front, though. And almost collided with Q or something. If I'm not mistaken, he acted in a series called Bloggerboy. Was I starstrucked? No, not really. I didn't give him a second look. Maybe it was because I'm not really into celebs and all. (If it were Josh Groban, well that'll be a whole different story altogether)

It was a total confusion for me. Whoever designed the place must have been love-drunk or not quite all there upstairs, because it was total chaotic. It was like a maze of confusion at the terminal ... I know it might be because it was my first time ... but still ... I didn't even know where to check-in, and how the process went.

Thus, I used my common sense which I was very fortunate to still possess at the moment. I asked the lady at the Information counter. Thank God for that. She asked me the standard questions ... Where was I heading? What time was my flight? And so she pointed out that I will have to go to Counter #56 for check-in but it will only open at 7.15pm as the counters will only be open 2 hours prior to my departure.

As it was only 6.45pm, I was a bit disoriented as to what the heck am I gonna do now? I could go eat ... Nah ... I'll skip that. Suddenly, my appetite just flew away. And so, I went in search for a seat to rest my tired legs. (Yes legs ... not feet)

OMG ... the lack of seats and the condition of the seats did not strike my fancy at all. There were too many people, weird people and people with lack of mannerisms. Their bags seem to have more importance than other people. You need 3 seats for your bags ... So, what? Other people's bums didn't matter? Complete disregard and utter selfish on their part.

Anyway, I found a seat, uncomfortable as it was, but I found one anyway. And the surroundings were far from clean. I fail to grasp why Malaysians in particular are incapable of disposing their trash into the trash can? Maybe it was the management's fault as well as I found the terminal to lack enough trash cans for people to dispose their trash of.

I was very glad when the clock struck 7.15pm because I was able to get out of the waiting area and go check-in at the counter. Counter #56 was not open, the check-in for flight in-bound to Johore Bahru was at Counter #57. I checked-in, it was all good, the counters were a mess. Junk everywhere.

After I checked-in and got my boarding pass (I chose window seat because I hate to be in the middle or seated at the aisle) I wanted to walk straight to departure, but I spotted a shop that sold fragrances.

I wasn't really going to buy any, but if one did strike my fancy, maybe I will. It all depended on my willpower ... I do have to be more prudent in my expenditure.

As usual, typical Malaysian salesperson. They really need a course in customer service. You do NOT follow the customer around like a dog. It really turns the customer (namely me) off from wanting to spend a single dime.

She (or he ... I was confused) asked me whether I wanted to buy a fragrance for a boyfriend (to which I wanted to laugh out loud to) and I said no, it was for myself. And so she took me to the counter to promote some 'new' fragrance.

Cartier. Immediately I said, "I have that. I'm using that." She was taken aback in a manner almost like she was shocked that someone here had purchased a perfume that was literally new to her. It's not new, hun. And so she picked up another bottle. "My mum has that." She put it down and picked up another bottle, Salvador Dali. Okay. I've heard of this but never has come across it before.

The fragrance (ITISLOVE) was quite nice. Not as floral or fruity as the ones I'm used to ... it was quite refreshing from the ones I already have. It was a 100ml bottle, RM269. Quite cheap considering it's 100ml. But I didn't want a 100ml bottle. I like to change fragrances, and it would be a waste if I don't use it ...

I asked if there were any other size ... She said it's the only size. But she said the EDT had a few size choices. It even had a promo which was interesting. 50ml plus body lotion plus a vanity case, priced RM189. A bargain I must say. I was still deliberating. She must have thought I wasn't quite interested so she picked up a few more bottles, which I have already or my mother has already or it just turned me way off.

So I went back to Salvador Dali. And I asked the most important question when it comes to picking a fragrance of choice, "What are the notes?" Blank faces. She turned to her colleague. I asked again, "The notes of the perfume ...? The top notes?" Still blank. I was getting more turned off by the minute.

What do you mean you don't know what notes are? She asked me what notes ... Uh ... hello. Aren't you supposed to be 'experts' in fragrances? You're supposed to be personal shopper ... You should know these things. I tried to explain. "The smell ... what does it consist of?" More blank faces. And so in an attempt to so-called assist me to verify the 'notes' to which I desperately need to know prior to purchase, she wanted to let me smell the fragrance once again. At that moment, I just, you know what ... It's OK. Thanks anyway, and I just left.

You expect me to buy the fragrance when you don't even know what the hell you're selling? It is utterly unacceptable and unconvincing. I probably will purchase the fragrance, but not at your store. No way in hell.

Identifying the notes is essential when purchasing fragrances, in that way, you know what you're purchasing. You smell a hint of citrus .. what else? The perfume does not only consist of citrusy fragrance. There must be more to it. What are the notes? The Top notes, Heart notes and Base notes ... It's vital when you're promoting a fragrance to actually know these things.

I am not an expert in fragrances, but I do want the best when I'm buying a fragrance. It's not just about brand names or what is advertised in magazines or who the celeb in the ad is. I've never seen an ad for Bulgari Rose Essential, but I fell in love with it because the personal shopper at Parkson One Utama knew what he was talking about. He knew what the notes were and he identified the fragrance suited my personality to the max. And that is how to convince a potential shopper. You understand their needs and wants and what suited them best.

Notes on Fragrance

It's a Cold, Cold Night Tonight

It's freezing right now. I feel like the icy cold air stabbing my bones.

I try to huddle under a borrowed sweater. My legs, my body is pulled under the table. As far under the table I force myself to go, and yet Jack Frost can still reach me.

My fingers grow numb, I can't type with a sweater pulled over my fingers. My palm is like a slab of ice ... it's too cold.

Can I start a fire in here? Maybe suggest a radiator to put in the office?

Anyway, why is the temperature so low? Am I the only one freezing over here? Or am I just imagining things? People! It's a frickin' igloo in here! Why the heck aren't you wearing your sweaters or jackets or whatever keeps you warm at night?

Oh ... yeah.

You probably have someone to cuddle with during these chilly nights.

Bummer.

It's a Cold, Cold Night Tonight

Nantes - La Villa Hamster

Do you love hamsters?
Do you love hamsters enough that you would want to live, eat and breathe like a hamster?

Well, a hotel in France is giving you the opportunity to do just that.

But how in the world did anyone come up with this bizarre idea of a 'hamster hotel'? Apparently yelling "Your mother was a hamster!" is enough.

And so, I found a website for La Villa Hamster and already from the front page, at first glance, it doesn't look like a hamster cage, it looks more like what you would see in a sci-fi movie in some weird rodent-runned planet. I couldn't make head or tails out of the website. It must have something to do with the fact that I don't speak French. I couldn't find the translation tab. The best I can do is to google translate it as much as I can.

I can't imagine myself living like a hamster. At least, the hotel is decent enough to provide a shower. That may be out of hamster character, but it may be what links us to human reality.

I do love hamsters. But I certainly don't love them enough to live like one. But who knows ... it could be a once in a lifetime experience.

Your bedding

You can choose to 'exercise' alone ...

... Or 'exercise' with a partner

Cool decor?

Nantes - La Villa Hamster

Croatia - It's Now On My Travel Destination List

Whenever someone asks me where I would like to travel to, it always has to be Europe. I can't really pinpoint exactly why, but that's probably just it. There's something about Europe that intrigues you, there's so much to see, and the architecture is simply magnificent.

But even then, even in Europe, the only places I'd like to travel to are Paris or anywhere in France for that matter, Dublin (because of the many memories), London, Liverpool (because I'm a Liverpool fan), Spain, and Italy. Not to say I don't fancy travelling anywhere else, but these places are at the top of my list.

So how did Croatia come into the picture?

I googled places to travel and came across Lonely Planet. And scrolling down the page, I came across Photo of the Day on the website.

Plitvice National Park

A beautiful, emerald green lake, surrounded by luscious green forest captivated my view. I have never seen such wondrous beauty. Never in my life, have I seen something so divine as that single photo. And so I clicked on the photo to find out more about this beautiful lake.

It took me to 'Croatia Gallery', which led me to believe the lake was somewhere in Croatia (I'm a genius, I know) and there were more photos taken from all over Croatia and they were all as beautiful as the lake.

Croatia is like a beautiful fairy tale. Whenever you imagine Beauty and the Beast, Snow White or Rapunzel, you can imagine Croatia being the backdrop for all these magical tales.

And you want to relive your childhood memories of reading these wonderful fairy tales, where anything can happen, where magic constantly floats in the air, and happy endings will always come for those who wait and those who strive for it.

Just looking at the photos, you can already imagine yourself being a part of the magic. You are the Cinderella and you will find your Prince Charming here. Being a hopeless romantic, it all seems believable. And yes, I hope to go to Croatia one day, to re-live the childhood magic I once knew.

Trakoscan Castle

Defensive walls leading up to the Venetian citadel

Lovrjenac

St Saviour Curch

Palace Hotel

Old Town city wall and fort

Old harbour at dusk

So .. does MAS have a promotional flight bound to Croatia? hehe~

Croatia - It's Now On My Travel Destination List

What I Learned Watching The Discovery Channel

Cleopatra.

It was never a topic that actually has intrigued me to discuss or to find out more about her before. She was probably the last pharaoh of Egypt as history has told us that the Roman Empire has conquered Egypt, which then thus brought the death of Cleopatra. Because she refused to be paraded and humiliated by Octavius, her captor, she committed suicide by smuggling the venomous Egyptian cobra.

By chance, I was waiting for my house-mate to get ready to get to work, and I just happened to switch on the Discovery Channel - The Mysterious Death of Cleopatra. I didn't know why it was mysterious. We all know the history of her death. Her lover, Julius Caesar, was assassinated. Then the Romans cam a-knockin' led by Octavius and Cleopatra and Mark Antony lost the battle, which led to Mark Antony's suicide. Imprisoned and about to be humiliated, Cleopatra chose death over the Roman's triumph.

But there was more to the Egyptian Queen than what was merely mentioned.

She came from an incestuous marriage. Her parents were brother and sister. She later married her own brother, and then murdered him and thereby inherit the throne of Egypt at age 17. So basically, she was trouble from the start. If you can commit such heinous crime, killing your own brother or husband or something ... you must have been rotten to the core. Just because you're rotten, doesn't mean you can't climb to great power. Because of just that, I believe you are willing to do anything to be in power.

Although, Cleopatra can't be fully blamed because her family ties were filled with murder and mayhem. So I suppose, it's just in her blood. Anyway, what Discovery Investigates had to show was that was Cleopatra's death really by suicide or homicide? Pat Brown, a leading FBI Criminal Profiler, and a team of experts from fields as diverse as archaeology and toxicology, goes deep into the mind of Cleopatra and the minds of those who were connected to her untimely death.

People commit suicide because they no longer want to be alive. They are so emotionally-pained and distraught that they simply cannot continue to live, believing that death and only death will rid them of this pain. According to Pat Brown, this does not fit Cleopatra's personality or behavioural pattern at all. Cleopatra was a strong woman, who stared defeat right in the eye, refused to back down and always continued fighting. Therefore, it is impossible for her to be so out of character to end her own life.

Even in her family history, there was no history of suicide. There was plenty of murder, but no suicide. Pat Brown flew all the way to Egypt to investigate history - what caused her death. She allegedly committed suicide by allowing a deadly snake to bite her arm, thus allowing the venom to seep through her body hence ending her life. The primary suspect - the Egyptian cobra.

According to an expert in venomous snakes, a grown person can die from the snake's bite in a matter of a few hours. Therefore, this eliminates the snake as being the cause of Cleopatra's death. This is because, as history wrote it, Cleopatra wrote a suicide note which she had the guards to send to her captor, Octavius. The timeframe from her writing the suicide note to Octavius finding her dead was merely a matter of minutes, therefore it was impossible for Cleopatra to die from a snake bite.

Another version of history was that Cleopatra drank poison from a poisonous plant, smuggled through her haircomb. An expert in toxicology advised that for a person to die from this poison, she would have had to drank at least 30 millimetres of the poison, which also eliminated this theory as the comb only allowed a few millimetres at least.

Therefore, the only conclusion would be homicide. But the question was, who murdered Cleopatra and why? Octavius seemed the only likely candidate, but he did not seem to have a motive to murder Cleopatra because he wanted to humiliate Cleopatra in front of Rome.

We later learned that carved deep into the walls of ancient temples in Egypt were reliefs that symbolised Cleopatra and her son from her liaison with Julius Ceasar, Caesarion. The reliefs showed that Cleopatra had wanted Caesarion to take the throne of Egypt. He was supposed to come in power, and thus was a threat to Octavius.

Knowing Cleopatra's intention for her son, Octavius then ordered Cleopatra to be murdered. Octavius had all the power now that he was the ultimate ruler of Egypt and Rome, he had the power to re-write history as we know it. He had Cleopatra murdered, spread the word that she committed suicide, then had Cleopatra's son murdered as well.

It just goes to show, we cannot 100% trust history as they can be manipulated into lies, truths can be hidden, tales can be exaggerated.

What I Learned Watching The Discovery Channel

My Birth Date in History - 1958

Nautilus travels under North Pole

On August 3, 1958, the U.S. nuclear submarine Nautilus accomplishes the first undersea voyage to the geographic North Pole. The world's first nuclear submarine, the Nautilus dived at Point Barrow, Alaska, and travelled nearly 1,000 miles under the Arctic ice cap to reach the top of the world. It then steamed on to Iceland, pioneering a new and shorter route from the Pacific to the Atlantic and Europe.

The USS Nautilus was constructed under the direction of U.S. Navy Captain Hyman G. Rickover, a brilliant Russian-born engineer who joined the U.S. atomic program in 1946. In 1947, he was put in charge of the navy's nuclear-propulsion program and began work on an atomic submarine. Regarded as a fanatic by his detractors, Rickover succeeded in developing and delivering the world's first nuclear submarine years ahead of schedule. In 1952, the Nautilus' keel was laid by President Harry S. Truman, and on January 21, 1954, first lady Mamie Eisenhower broke a bottle of champagne across its bow as it was launched into the Thames River at Groton, Connecticut. Commissioned on September 30, 1954, it first ran under nuclear power on the morning of January 17, 1955.

Much larger than the diesel-electric submarines that preceded it, the Nautilus stretched 319 feet and displaced 3,180 tons. It could remain submerged for almost unlimited periods because its atomic engine needed no air and only a very small quantity of nuclear fuel. The uranium-powered nuclear reactor produced steam that drove propulsion turbines, allowing the Nautilus to travel underwater at speeds in excess of 20 knots.

In its early years of service, the USS Nautilus broke numerous submarine travel records and on July 23, 1958, departed Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, on "Operation Northwest Passage"--the first crossing of the North Pole by submarine. There were 116 men aboard for this historic voyage, including Commander William R. Anderson, 111 officers and crew, and four civilian scientists. The Nautilus steamed north through the Bering Strait and did not surface until it reached Point Barrow, Alaska, in the Beaufort Sea, though it did send its periscope up once off the Diomedes Islands, between Alaska and Siberia, to check for radar bearings. On August 1, the submarine left the north coast of Alaska and dove under the Arctic ice cap.

The submarine travelled at a depth of about 500 feet, and the ice cap above varied in thickness from 10 to 50 feet, with the midnight sun of the Arctic shining in varying degrees through the blue ice. At 11:15 p.m. EDT on August 3, 1958, Commander Anderson announced to his crew: "For the world, our country, and the Navy--the North Pole." The Nautilus passed under the geographic North Pole without pausing. The submarine next surfaced in the Greenland Sea between Spitzbergen and Greenland on August 5. Two days later, it ended its historic journey at Iceland. For the command during the historic journey, President Dwight D. Eisenhower decorated Anderson with the Legion of Merit.

After a career spanning 25 years and almost 500,000 miles steamed, the Nautilus was decommissioned on March 3, 1980. Designated a National Historic Landmark in 1982, the world's first nuclear submarine went on exhibit in 1986 as the Historic Ship Nautilus at the Submarine Force Museum in Groton, Connecticut.

My Birth Date in History - 1958

Rise and Fall of the Berlin Wall

I know it to be a symbol of a unified nation. The fall of Berlin wall to be more specific. But I always thought that the West Germans were running over to escape to East Germans because the West were a cruel bunch of communists, instead, it was actually the other way round.

I guess I always have that prejudice towards the Westerners. To be quite frank, I was never a fan of history. You had to literally shove a history book in my face to get me to read it. And I always fell asleep in history class (but awake enough so that I won't get caught). So how was it that I ended up watching the History Channel? I .. have no answer to that. It was during one weekend, and I was home alone, and there was nothing good on TV. Nothing on Star World, nothing on AXN, nothing on Channel E! ... basically TV was not on my good side that day.

And so I was flipping through channels just for the sake of it, and it just so happened that the story of the Berlin Wall was on the History Channel. Again, I stress that am no fan of history, but what struck me was this particular topic, which I happen to come across the day before in an article in The Star about a Malaysian residing in Germany. I initially just skimmed over half of what she wrote, but then something caught my attention. I can't remember what. But it could be that the fact that her German husband had a part of the Berlin Wall in his possession. A piece of concrete, but a significant reminder of the tormented nation Germany once was.

I only realised then that it was the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and that was why the article was featured and it was on telly. What was significant to me was the great lengths that many East Germans took to escape to West Germany, in hopes for a better life.

We all know that there was this long, high concrete wall encircling Germany, separating the East from the West. But I now only knew, from watching the History Channel, that there was more to the segregation than a 12 ft wall of concrete. There were dozen of booby traps laid across the whole stretch of the Berlin Wall, on the East side. The land was left barren so that the guards can spot with ease, anyone attempting to emigrate to the West. More than 80 people were shot or killed in their attempts to escape to the West.

In spite of all the security measures to stop people fleeing from East Germany, many has successfully escaped and lived to tell the tale. And they are wonderful and surprising escape stories.

The best escape attempt, for me, is certainly by a handcrafted hot-air balloon. I was fascinated by the story that two families successfully crossed the wall by way of hot-air balloon. It wasn't an easy attempt at escape, the first time, they failed to cross the wall. They were so close, yet so far from freedom. The second time around, the blazing fire from the thingamajig that's supposed to blow hot air and thereby lifting the basket into the air, burned a hole into the fabric. The two families were very lucky that despite this obstacle, they still made it across the wall and their escape attempt even became a Disney movie! (Night Crossing)

In the end, the Soviet-controlled East Germany opened up the borders to Hungary, and I guess, the rest is ... history. The wall was torn down, families reunited, Germany was thereby unified. The Cold War officially ended and so was the nightmare.

The story of this magnificent wall never quite got me hooked onto history, but it sure got me interested enough to let myself open up, and embrace the stories of the past.

Rise and Fall of the Berlin Wall

Shoes Are A Girls Best Friend

It's only 5pm and it's already dark outside. God must be angry at us. The pelting raindrops showering on Bursa building, plus the loud and obnoxious rolling sound of thunder and lightning, it feels like the sky is about to be craked open. Looks like Zeus is having a field day throwing lightning bolts at us.
Wow .. i just found out Thor is German. A 'much revered god of the ancient Germanic peoples ...' as per Wikipedia. Who knew? And all this while, I thought only the Greeks had ancient Gods. Just goes to show, you learn something new everyday.

I'm actually staring into this outrageously georgeous pair of Jessica Simpson shows. That lady may not be the greatest singer (I don't fancy her singing skills ... too much shouting) but she sure does make absolutely beautiful shoes. I should know .. I own a pair. And they are so hot, I could die. They're super tall (5 inches tall) but they are to die for. Her Genaviv heels are super fantabulous. The design is simply spectacular. Intricate detailings ... beautiful high heels, not the sharp, thin type, but elegantly made. But it costs USD 92, not inclusive of shipping and handling costs. And they only have it in my size!!!

If you're wondering where exactly I'm browsing all this info at ...? It's at Amazon.com - my shopping haven. The last time I shopped here, I can't remember when. But I bought these fabulous Catwoman-like knee high boots from BCBGirls. I only wore it once and that was last month at GBM's Q2 and Q3 R&R 2009. The theme was 60's/70's Psychadelic Nite. But that's another story altogether.

I first found out about Amazon.com was earlier this year. No, wait. That was when I first started 'shopping' at Amazon. I knew about it a long time ago. Just that I couldn't shop here because of 1) I didn't have a credit card then,

2) They don't ship to Malaysia They still don't.

But I found another way to get my hands on these goodies. Using VPostAsia.com It's not a shopping site, it's a shipping site. It allows us living in 'Restricted Countries' to buy stuff online in the US, Japan, and Europe and many other countries as we choose.

All we have to do is create an account, the company will then creat and address for us, say, in the US (My shipping address is in Oregon), and then we're free to shop as we please.

The only downside is, it caused my credit card to never be the same again. I've reached my max, I pay every month more than the minimum payment (way more), but then I use it again. I can't use it to shop. But the deduct about RM 180 from my credit card each month to pay for an insurance scheme I bought from HSBC. That plus return flight tickets to Johor every month, means that there's no spare change to go shopaholic again.

*sigh* I miss the days when I went crazy shoe shopping online. Now all I've got to wear are the old heels - my 3 Steve Madden (1 which needs some cobbler-ing), Carlos by Carlos Santana, Jessica Simpson, Nine West, my only-once-worn BCBGirls boots, and my store-bought Eclipse and Nose heels. The rest of my heels (10 of them) had to go to the garbage bin because they were no longer wearable.

I need more shoes. I may need to buy flats, but I feel it unnecessary to spend dollars on flats because ultimately, I only wear heels. It's not good for my toes, and for my spine (as my heels are usually 3 inches or higher, though the max I have is 5 inches. Taller than that, and I think it's ugly and crazy and you'd have to be dellusional to wear them)

Dear Amazon, wherefore art thou?

Okie dokie ... it's officially 7pm which is 1100GMT which is my dinner break.

Toodle-oo

Shoes Are A Girls Best Friend

The Lazy Days

I'm at work right now. Sitting and staring at the screen. My fingers numbly moving about. Feeling .. and touching the alphabets on the keyboard. The click click of the keys sounds oddly soothing, slowly spelling out words and forming sentences. Translating my thoughts .. illustrating ... I forgot what I was about to say. I got called away 'in the line of duty'.

My colleagues called me to look at a document and a trade to try to figure out and distinguish two different compounding methods. I know the difference, but it's too technical I never bothered trying to figure out the calculations. I'd be darn crazy .. the formula is complex enough and the definitions ... don't get me started on that.

These people seem to have a joy for writing long winded sentences, and confusing anyone who attempts to make heads or tails of what they're trying to say. That's legal folks for you. Confusing normal, everyday folks is what they do for a living.

It's raining cats and dogs right now .. oh, wait. It's stopped already. But it was raining cats and dogs, the buildings and skyscrapers were hidden from view. My view. I didn't get a window seat.

I love window seats. I love to look outside. But I'm near enough to the world outside. My 3 years older 'twin' got the window seat. (She's my twin because we have a lot in common. We both came to work here at the same day, same induction group, same team, same process, and oh .. yeah. We were born on the same day - 3rd August, just 3 years apart.)

I'm supposed to do L2 checking for yesterday's executed trades. But I feel queasy looking at the documents. And I've only L2 checked 5 trades! Plus it's only 0840 GMT. It's the start of the day and I'm already getting bored. Maybe it's because tomorrow is F-R-I-D-A-Y!!!! I've been waiting for the weekend ever since last Sunday, when I realised the next day I have to go to work. I love the weekends. Not that I go out every weekend. Actually, I haven't gone out for months. No ... scratch that. I have gone out. Two weeks ago. We went to Mid Valley and then to The Gardens.

Hold the thought. My manager just came in.

Got to continue my work now.

Toodle-00.

The Lazy Days

Bohsia - A Review

I recently had to endure a 6 hour bus ride from KL back to my parents' place in Pasir gudang. And all that was during the fasting period. My bus was scheduled to depart at 4pm from KL. And so, basically that meant I had to break my fast on the bus. That wasn't so bad, considering ... it could've been worse where I probably would have to break my fast alone as my housemates all went back to their own respective homes for the long weekend.

Anyhoo, the first half of the journey went by probably quickly, as I was fast asleep during that whole time. Of course I was asleep. I arrived home at about 1.15am and slept at somewhere around 3am or so. And I woke up at 7am. Can you believe it?

So, as to not wanting to spend the long hols alone, I decided to buy a bus ticket home. Last minute decision as always. I got the 4pm Transnasional Skyview, Thank God! Transnasional's the only company that actually has a bus ride to Pasir Gudang, which is good for me.

Long story short, after we departed from Machap (pit stop that we Transnasional always take) the bus driver decided to play a movie. And guess what? Of all the stupid, and idiotic movies there has been produced in this whole entire world, he chose to play 'Bohsia: Jangan Pilih Jalan Hitam'.

Now, I'm no fan of Malaysian movies. Not that I'm prejudiced or thinking I'm better than anything or whatever, but I was right to be prejudiced. In this case anyway.

I never wanted to watch that movie. Saw the trailers, the posters at cinemas and etc. But I've never had or wanted to watch it. I mean, there were other and way better offerings at the cinemas during the time that the movie came out. So, I never had the opportunity to critic it. Well, my first hunch was, it's not going to be worth the money spent. And I was right.

I don't know how I was able to survive that abominable piece of garbage. Everything was oh-so wrong. From the script, the acting, the plot, and even the soundtrack. It was utterly abysmal. That's the sum of my review for this movie. Abysmal with a capital A-B-Y-S-M-A-L.

Word of caution. Please don't sacrifice your intelligence by watching this movie. It has no moral value whatsoever. It has nothing. Nothing at all. No depth, no meaning. Absolutely nothing. And this review has basically nothing either. No explanation. Because there is nothing to explain about this movie. It's just not worth watching it. Not even when you get to watch it for free.

Bohsia - A Review

The Words of A Mother

A mother is a special person. A wonderful person, who has given you life. She laboured through excrutiating 9 months plus, and endured un-imaginable pain for hours on end, just to bring you to this world. A mother raised you, fed you, did everything you would expect from a person you call a mother ... and more.
The words spoken through her lips have so deep a meaning to your life. Be it advise, a shoulder to cry on, and even ... a harsh word or two. I just endured the latter.
One cannot imagine that a mother is capable of saying such cruelty. Her words cut me through like a knife. Torn my heart apart with such ease. But no blood was spilt. although I wish it did. Those words could kill me. And I wish it would. Because remembering every sentence, word by word, brings so much pain, and so much tears, I just wish I could end it right now. I don't want it to go over an over like a record in my head. I want it to stop. The only way it could stop is if I stopped breathing.
I'm not going to kill myself. What? Do you think I'm freakin' crazy? No. Because I know if I did, not only will I receive the wrath from Almighty, but it will also kill my own mother. For she would know that it was her very words that killed me. And I don't want her to go through that. I lover her too much.
No matter what she says, she is still my mother. And nothing is going to change that. No matter how painful.
All I can do now is just go through life, knowing that she siad those cruel things to me. And I cannot face her for that.
Call me a coward. I don't care. Because the only reason I don't want to see her again, is so that I won't have to look in her eyes and remember the things she said, and animosity to brew inside of me. I don't ever want to hate her. I want to love her. And I want her to love me.
I know in Islam, a mother's wrath is God's wrath, and I fear for both. And knowing that my mother hates me, makes me hate myself and life in general. Maybe it is better for me just to ... disappear from the face of the Earth. Maybe it's for the better good of mankind. Maybe it is.
No. I won't kill myself. I'll let someone else do it for me.
How does it feel to be killed by a speeding car? I want my death t be quick. No pain. No more pain. It pains me enough already. It pains me more than being hit by a car, or a truck for that matter. But I think it's best just the same ... that ... I just ... died.
It's the best possible solution, for everyone's sake, and myself.

The Words of A Mother

Treehuggers Unite

I have no idea what went through my brain. Treehuggers? Seriously? How hippie can I get? And how cliche..Darn it.

And yet...what an overwhelming response I got from people. They must have no apparent idea how plagarised this name is. Oh...btw, I didn't plagarise it. I had no idea it actually existed. I mean, I know Treehuggers exist as in that's what they call the peace-lovin', weed smokin' bunch of 70's hippies. But people actually still use that to describe their love towards the environment?

Amazing. Truly amazing how millions of people around the world have no sense of imagination or creativity or originality for that matter (me included) but hey, I can be excluded actually. Because I created this out of passion for environment (which everyone else as well I suppose) but also because I like to reminisce about the 70's.

No, I wasn;t alive during that decade. I just love That 70's Show. Fez and Hyde. Two amazing characters. One is super cool, and another...foreigner. Should I say more? i want to know what his real name is and where he came from...

Toodles

Treehuggers Unite

Dirrty

I have no idea what's going on in my mind right now. My thoughts keep going over and over about the same thing. And I have no idea why. I'm not forcing myself to think these things. I don't want to think these things. I don't want to have these visions, these dreams.

I feel dirty...unclean. I feel like a right-down pervert.

I can't face the people...I know who they are. Yes. You read it right. It's they, as in plural. Not just one person. It's 2 or 3. Horrible to think that this can happen.

People say it's normal, it's natural. I feel like I should join the Sex Addict Anonymous.

I want this to stop. But it does feel nice. It does have a great feeling.

But it's not that great when you're having visions while you're at work, in front of the PC and you're colleagues are everywhere around you.

Is it because of hormones? I don't know. It's not my cycle yet. This is just too weird.

Dirrty

Hearts

I wrote this poem almost two years ago, dedicated to this one perfect guy who stole my heart once upon a time.


Hearts

My heart is filled with wonders
I smile when I think of you
My little soul takes flight and flutters
Whenever you pass me through

I heart the sound of your mesmerising voice
I heart the smell of you
I heart the way you look in my eyes
I heart you, and only you

My words may seem a little naive
My lips are frozen, they cannot speak
My body shivers just seeing you here
And yet you are just a fantasy

You cannot be mine because you don't heart me
Though I wish and wish that we are us
Still your heart belongs to another she
Yet I pray you look my way
And maybe you'll heart me back
Someday
Someday

Hearts

Some Things I Never Learn To Learn

It seems that history can repeat itself for all I care, because I never seem to learn from it. When will I ever learn to just...give up! It's not worth my time, it's not worth my effort. Only tears and despair are all that I will endure. All hope will shatter. Hopeless...hopelessly devoted...

I have spent more than a year, then it was almost a year, and to what? Nothing. I've been hanging on a string...a string of despair. They've all been one-sided, and yet, I still let myself fall into this emotion. I still let myself hang on to some hope that is nothing but hopelessness. letting myself believe that it could be, when it was obvious it couldn't. Allowing myself to fall when there was no one to catch me.

People tell me there's still hope. They are wrong. People tell me, just let time take its course. It's not the direction I want it to head. People tell me there's plenty of fish in the sea. It's either I'm not interested, or they're not interested in me. People tell me I'm too picky. I'm not just going to take whatever is there. Not simply any Tom, Dick, or Harry. This is my life we're talking about.

I'm too naive.

I made my decision. I will no longer let myself be fooled. I've removed everything that reminds me of him. Avoidance is necessary. Elimination is vital. For my own sanity, to me, he no longer exists. And yet, I am writing this, a reminder of his existence. I am still thinking of him, although I have promised myself not to. That just goes to show, I never learn to learn from history and experience.

Drastic measures I have placed before me to ensure that he will never pop in my head again.

How can I let this happen? I don't even know him! And yet... I envisioned so much, with so little. A fool I am...rushing into nothingness, emptiness, loneliness. One-sided... That's all I'll ever feel. That's all I'll ever be.

Some Things I Never Learn To Learn

Sacred Heart

The heart is a sacred thing that must be cherished and guarded at all times. The heart is not made of diamonds that is almost impossible to crack, to shatter, to destroy. The heart can easily be broken. The heart is then, almost impossible to mend.

Sacred Heart

The Great Impression ...

“The Great Depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment, was produced by government mismanagement rather than by any inherent instability of the private economy.”

Milton Friedman quotes (American Economist, b.1912)

History has a funny way of repeating itself. And the manner in which it repeats may not be really funny at all. Well, probably not to those who are experiencing it. And as a matter of fact, when you look back at this in a few years time, it may not even be remotely funny in the least. Forgive my mannerism. I cease to find humour in the subject in which I wish to quote.

It was during the period when Carl Denham set sail to Skull Island with a beautiful yet desperate would-be actress, a reluctant scriptwriter and film crew in tow. It was the period during which thousands of New Yorkers found themselves on the streets, jobless, penniless and hopeless. It was during this period that the financial world found itself in severe jeopardy and no way to escape the crisis in which it blindly led itself into ... a black hole.

It is now the new millennium. A new era of revolution. And yet, it does not seem to differ from some 80 or so years ago, as the financial giants have now yet again blindly led themselves sinking into a giant quicksand of financial ruin. And us little people have to face the consequences of the mismanagement and greed that has been so in sync with the CEOs and heads of financial institutions all over the world.

I may be the last person to actually come up with this issue, but I actually am not about to be talking about financial crisis, credit crunch and to reminisce about The Great Depression.

Let me give a scenario in which I am directly and indirectly linked to this crisis and I have come to loathe ... loathe does not quite describe this specific emotion that I am feeling. I suppose abhor could be more accurate. I have not found myself on the streets begging for mercy. I do not find myself perpetually facing threats of retrenchment as in the face of adversity, the company in which I am employed in, has prevailed and has outshone and outgrew rival companies and even able to maintain its profitability. And yet, I am not in the least content.

No, I am not a KGB-ish spy or a member of an underground organisation that is adamant in bringing down and destroying rich organisations. I am only a humble employee that has only career development as her goals.

Struggling to maintain my integrity, my dignity albeit the situation in which I am forced upon is a task I have to endure given the circumstances which has enveloped and entwined its long, curly and nasty fingers around the slip of paper in which I long for and wait for every single month. As of recent events, I am no longer expectant of these monthly slips of paper. I now wish I never have to see these papers as I seethe in anger and frustration at every inching moment. I have been robbed of what I deserve. I no longer have the aspirations I so naively had. I no longer have the motivation of which I strongly struggle for in every waking moment. I am as of now, a walking robot. A puppet that has no will of her own, but to struggle everyday to satisfy power hungry and money hungry monsters.

The new Millennium has a new Depression, and this new era of Depression has caused a profound Impression on those who has the same thoughts, the same sentiments as myself.

The Great Impression ...