Danial

I love my little Danial. He's my youngest brother, the youngest of eight kids. I took this picture of him during the middle of the night, the several nights I forced him to sleep with me. He didn't want to because he's more close to his brother, Sofwan. But I wanted him to be with me anyway because I only go back home once a month on weekends. I really miss him so.

I'm writing this piece as I'm watching Glutton For Punishment. Bob Blummer's entering a Flair Bartending Competition at a National level. It's interesting ... he came in 7th which is pretty cool considering he only trained for 7 days.

I miss Danial so much.

My sister blames me for baby-ing him too much. I can't help it. For me, (and for my mum) he is a baby. He's our baby.
Regardless of his age, him being the youngest (and we don't have any other baby to baby) we just continue to love him like a baby.

He's too cute and too adorable. I can't stop loving him.

He doesn't know how much he means to me, but he is my favourite.

Danial

The Ultimate Wish

You could call me a dreamer, but I'd like to think of myself as an achiever. I strive to attain my goals, no matter how insignificant others might perceive of the goals I have sent for myself. I resent the thought that inhibits my ability to go through it all.

Obstacles are set to ensure the satisfaction guaranteed once the goals are attained. If it is easy as pie, it wouldn't be an accomplishment that you can forever cherish.

My ultimate goal is for the betterment of my life - present and future. I have a career that showcases my knowledge and capability, that has catapulted me to the top of the ladder in terms of recognition. I have achieved thus far career-wise that I must now focus on other important goals that I need to achieve in my life.

Never have I felt the beauty of being in a relationship. Never have a felt the gentle caress of a man against my skin, with ever touch he showers his love upon me. Never have I felt the sensation of being loved by someone so deeply.

And I wish all that and more.

Do I wish to be in a relationship with Faliq (above picture)? I cannot deny but that has always been swimming in my head. His face pops in my every dream. When I wake up, he's the first person I see when I open my eyes (could be due to the fact that he's my wallpaper in my handphone).

Am I crazy for thinking this way? Has maturity not bestow itself upon me yet that I am still living in a fantasy world? They do say love makes people do crazy things.

But how can I be in love when I don't even know this man? How can I be in love when he doesn't even know of my existence? I have no clue and I have no answer to that. All I can say is that I wish and I do desire.

No, I am not a stalker.
No, I am not a dreamer.
No, I am not crazy.

Faliq personifies all that I desire in a man. He is charismatic, charming, successful, intelligent, a gentleman with impeccable taste. I can't deny his good looks has indeed affected my judgement as well. Thus, is it wrong for me to be attracted to such an individual? How can someone not be?

This is, though, a much more 'attainable' dream than those that I have dreamt about. Attainable being at least he is Malaysian, he isn't a celebrity. He's Faliq.

The Ultimate Wish

Blood Suckers

It didn't hurt. Not even a slight pinch. It was surprising. The least I expected was an ants bite. And yet, nothing. The long, thin needle pierced into my skin. Drawing out the blood from my veins. The dark, red liquid gushing out like tapwater.

I was shocked at the amount of blood that was taken from me.

Horrible thoughts swam through my head. Will I survive? Will there be enough blood left for my heart to pump oxygen throughout my entire anatomy?

My head was already spinning. Is this an indication that there actually is something wrong? Perhaps it could be due to the fact that my inability to sleep prolonged ... far too long ... I have not slept in days.

My body is weakening due to lack of rest. My brain's inability to properly function ... my inability to endure hardship ... it's taking a toll on me.

Slowly, a stabbing yet subtle pain was felt on my left arm (the doctor drew blood from my left arm because she was unable to find a vein on my right arm ... the left arm wasn't much help either, she forced the needle even though the vein wasn't prominent .. pure luck nothing bad happened to me). Drawing out the needle hurts more than the needle going in.

Yes, I knew that from watching too many episodes and re-runs of CSI: Crime Scene Investigators, CSI: Miami and CSI: New York. If you stab a person, that person may not die ... as the blade actually acts as a block for the body from bleeding out. Only if you pull the knife out ... then it's sayonara!

It still hurts a little ... even though it's now 7 hours later. Well, it's not really painful, just a little numb.

I fear if I dare to take off the bandage, I'd see something that would probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

Oh .. and never again! Never again will I endure going through a full medical check up. Not because of my fear of needles or blood. (I have no qualms over this ... I'm a big, strong girl) but the ECG!!!!

I should have done my homework prior to coming to the hospital. i hadn't a single clue as to what an ECG could have been.

Sure, I found out soon enough. To test the heart. Sounds simple right? What's so frightening about that?

OMG! Oh my Lord!

I had not the faintest idea that to take this frickin' ECG heart test, I actually had to flash my boobs!
Yeah, when the medical assistant asked me to take off any metal objects (like my watch and my bra, because of the under-wire), I thought ... OK. Easy enough.

Then lying down on the bed, she said she'll put the thingy on my wrists, my feet, and my chest.

Still hadn't a clue.
Clueless.

The shock came when she said I had to lift my top.
Say what?!! Come again?!! Lift as in ... reveal my twins? Seriously?

Heck .. the only other person who's ever seen my boobs is my own reflection!

But that ain't the worst part. Oh no. There was more.

She had to place this gel on several parts of my left boob.
At the side, under, the other side, far back. And to top it all off, stick this thingamajig sucking device on those areas. Again, scrutinizing my boobs.

No, I'm not saying she's gay and has a knack for looking at people's boobs. Just that, well, it's embarrassing don't you think so? And plus what with the cold, gust of wind from the air-conditioning! You know what happens to a woman's bosom during the cold!

OMG!!!!

Well ... the worst is yet to come. Imagine when I get married and preggers and all that shite?!! The doc is gonna see waaaay more than anyone should.

Blood Suckers

Anticipation - A Blessing and A Curse

In less than 6 hours, my appointment with the doctor will commence. At least, that's what I'm hoping for when I called up the hospital to make an appointment.
She told me that I'd probably have to wait a bit as there are going to be a few students coming in to get their shots.
So, my appointment will most probably be pushed later, how much later I'm not really sure. But I hope it won't take too long as I was told I had to fast from 12 am until the time when the doctor says I can eat.

*sigh*

I'm dreading the moment as I hate to go to the doctors. It's just not natural for me. I'm not the type of person who likes to be the subject of an examination.
And that is exactly what I will have to endure tomorrow ... err ... later today, I mean.

What is swimming through my mind is that I go through all the medical check up that I'm required to (or what I signed up for) and the doctor will say that everything is A-OK. I'm in tip-top shape and I can go through life without a worry.

Should be a good thing, right?

Well ... not so much. Good news and bad news.

Good news is I'm healthy.

Bad news is ... what the heck was I worrying myself, my family and my friends for? If everything is OK. I've been worried sick because of my blue nails (previous post ... before Quest Crew). I can hardly breathe if I do a little bit of cardio ... like climbing the stairs to my house ...
My brain giving me a constant headache because it's being such a pain in the arse for being in pain. And yet, if there's nothing wrong (as the two doctors at Klinik Mediveron, Ampang both said) then I'd be the laughing stock of the town.

My parents will never take me seriously again. I'd be labeled a drama queen with a capital D-R-A-M-A ... although, I am already dubbed a drama queen but not to that extent.

Then again, if it is bad news, well ... lets hope there's a cure. That's all I'm asking for.

It's still cold. My nails are still purple. I still can't sleep at night.

Lets just say ... right now ... I'd rather the bad news than good.

Anticipation - A Blessing and A Curse

Quest Crew Performance

Need I say more?

Heck, I'm not those crazy, psychotic, fanatics, Quest Mania person.

I just happen to like break dancing, and I've seen their performances and they are good. Better than good!

Plus, they actually have personality ... they're very animated as you can see in their performances, and their interviews. Even the quiet, shy Brian ...

I'd love to see these guys in action live, but I doubt that day will come as ... well ... I'm not too good with crowds. And sweaty armpits as in ... thousand sweaty armpits?

Yikes!!!

Nonetheless, it would be a too good an opportunity to miss out.

But for now, I'll just have to be contented with watching them via YouTube.

Wishing I could groove like Quest Crew .......

Quest Crew Performance